amfar3hah

an announcement.

2011-06-29T04:14:00.007+08:00

i am now officially a law graduate. woohoooo!!!

it is not a recent news btw since the the result was out 3 weeks ago. but i feel like doing a comeback here. find nothing to write about, so why not making an announcement right?

well, the convocation will be held in October after Ramadhan and Shawal. i can't wait. this absolutely will be one of the most memorable year in my life. :)

dear u,

2011-02-05T05:19:00.003+08:00

its been 6 months without u. i miss u terribly. every single day.

love.

hate

2010-10-09T23:04:00.002+08:00

Dont really hate anyone...dislike a fair few people but not hate.

:(

2010-08-19T01:54:00.004+08:00

it is 18th of august.
the 8th days of ramadhan.
i miss my family.
and i miss my honey bee!!!

the tyre got nailed.

2010-08-03T23:18:00.001+08:00

my car tyre was punctured and i handle it on my own. no, its not that i fix it on my own, but i handle the situation on my own. i feel good. =)

annoyed at my poor grammar?

2010-08-03T05:37:00.005+08:00

i'm a law student who sucks in english. i agree.. yeah.. definitely an exception to this group called law student. i'm one of the isolated case..... right? i have poor english and poor grammar. you can tell from all my previous post.

do i care having a blog with poor english writing? no, i don't. i'm not going to kill myself for having a poor english. i'm not less a person because i can't write with proper grammar. i am learning. there are always rooms for improvements. i choose to write in english so what?

please. don't underestimate people because of his/her english. you have the skill, your english is fluent, your writing is awesome, doesn't mean u can laugh at people like me. just be grateful that in exam u score more marks than people who have poor writing. okay?

chill.

i am mine

2010-08-02T21:50:00.001+08:00

"i know i was born and i know that i'll die. the in between is mine. i am mine."

fairy tales

2010-07-28T21:53:00.008+08:00

cinderella walked on broken glass, sleeping beauty let her whole life pass by, belle fell in love with a beast, pocahontas risked her life for a feast, jasmine could have had anyone but she choose a poor man, and ariel, she walked on land.

so many people dislike fairy tales because it makes us believe in happily ever after, believe that a prince will swoop down and save us when something goes wrong. but many didn't realize that in every fairytale, every girl took a risk. took a risk to reach the ending of happily ever after.

yes, life is not a fairy tale. often the story is not happily ever after. but how do we really know if our own fairytale won't really happen if we don't try, or if we stop trying and forget the faith?

so, keep going on people. take the risks and embrace your happily ever after.

expectation.

2010-07-26T23:56:00.004+08:00

if you expect nothing from anybody you never be disappointed.

is it just that easy?

it's not alibi.

2010-07-22T22:07:00.004+08:00

i'm glad that alibi is not the issue. but too bad.. there are 2 relevant issue that should be discussed in my answer ~~shit~~ sheet yet i left them out. i only discussed two issues which i hope they are the major one while the other 2 are incidental so that i can score at least the passing mark. pray. pray.

and now, everybody is back in their hometown for the break. or at least some i know are on their way while i'm still here for my test tomorrow. i don't mind actually. because it just one day and i'll shoot back right after my test tomorrow. yay! =)

the alibi.

2010-07-21T15:43:00.003+08:00

just finish my evidence test. god, it is simple but sadly during the exam 'alibi' doesn't hit my brain at all . only after i submit the paper then i realize... "yeah... alibi.. yeah... hmmm." damn it!!! its too late. if its true that alibi should be in the discussion i'm very sure i will lose it this time.

dear you,

2010-07-18T01:19:00.007+08:00

i hate the distance. but the fact that i will be seeing you again, is better than anything else.
i miss to have you around.

love.

awesomely awesome!

2010-07-17T15:04:00.004+08:00

why you should watch this:

because inception is probably the only movie this year with a new original story.
because its from Nolan, the dark night and memento.
because of LEONARDO DICAPRIO and ...
... JOSEPH GORDON LEVITT!!!
because its in 3D..... NOT!
because inception will bend your mind hard.
because most people think lasers, spaceships crap when they hear sci-fi.
because action, thriller, sci-fi and philosophical all perfectly mixed together.
because it is nowhere near TWILIGHT!!!

Why you shouldn’t watch it:

inception need a complete attention from you so skip it if you don't want to think.
the complexity of the story might put you off. (not me)
if you are twilighter, it is nowhere near TWILIGHT!!!

verdit: must watch!

that time of the month.

2010-07-15T00:01:00.009+08:00

panda eyes soon.

2010-07-13T22:28:00.004+08:00

just finished my first test for this semester. easy? nope! hard? not really... i dunno. there are another 3 next week and 2 after break.

urghh.. i have presentation to prepare for this thursday. but i really need to sleep now.

good student i am.

2010-07-11T22:17:00.002+08:00

i have civil procedure test this tuesday... and i have conveyancing presentation on thursday... yet i'm reading murder cases which more relevant to my evidence paper. why? bcus i find it more interesting and cool. wait... murder case is cool? hahah!

the point is... i'm good at procrastinating. the thing that i have to do first i will always do it last.

it doesn't sound good right? sigh.

i'm apologize to myself.

2010-06-30T22:41:00.002+08:00

3 days... and today i cheat!!!

comeback !!!

2010-06-30T17:20:00.006+08:00

you know having a long curly hair is hard to manage without the right shampoo? and dandruffs make my life miserable. i don't have the flakes dandruff that obviously seen fall on the shoulder. no. but i have the one small little dust alike that stick to the scalp. it is irritating. some more the veil that i wear outside cause it to sweat and end of the day i have oily hair and scalp. yes, both.

my sister have the same problem with dandruff and her problem is with the flaky dandruff. she is using 'head & shoulder' and she suggested me the same. i swear it is the best shampoo for dandruff! we use it and we can eliminate the dandruff. but the problem is... her hair is straight and mine is crazy wavy/ curly whatever. she use head & shoulder and her problem gone and her hair still looks great. but when i use it, my hair when crazy. it became dry and breezy. and i hate it so much. to hide it i keep my hair tuck all the time at home. when i looked in the mirror i can literally see a granny. i stick to it for years just for the reason that it is effective on dandruff. i dont realize the problem is with the shampoo so, i rebonding my hear twice a year for a straight hair.

until i started to embrace my curly hair i try to find the right solution for my unhealthy dry and breezy hair. so, i changed to loreal. and it did not change anything. and i went back to head & shoulder. the same, at home i will tuck my hair like a grandma.

one day doing shopping i went to the shampoo section and smell the herbal essence. i swear it smell really good. i took it with conditioner. and now i have a new obsession. it make me want to wash my hair every day. more, my hair become healthier. no more dry, crazy breezy hair and the best is, it eliminates the oily scalp and dandruff at the same time. now, i seldom tuck my hair. i let it be free and i love it. i feel sexier. HAHAHAHA. okay.. for me curly hair is a definition for sexy.

i use the blue bottle - coconut and orchid. the smell.... oh.. god. damn good. i feel like eating my hair now. =P

home sweet home.

2010-05-21T15:44:00.005+08:00

it has been 4 days i'm at my parents place. all i do is watching and eating. what a joyful life. no responsibilities and yes, so far study is my biggest responsibility and lately im hating it.

here at home, i just do nothing. nothing that require me to stay up late and torture my brain like what i have to do in malacca. so exactly i do nothing. but.... i have a part time job at home. i'm a housemaid. =) cleaning, washing, cooking is my new job. i like it seriously. i like helping my mom clean up the house and cook for lunch while she's at work. i swear i enjoy doing it. why? yeah.. what else could make me happier than reducing her burden. hehehe. and somehow it benefit me. how? okay, stay at home, clean the house wash the clothes prepare lunch for my brother then, ask my mom for something and the answer is mostly yes. (please, do not doubt my sincerity) =P even though it's not all the time yes from my mother but mostly i have yes vote. see... behave kid.. and sure, you'll rewarded.

tomorrow i'm going out with my old friend from school. i can't remember when was the last time we met. but sure long long long ago... oh.. i'm so excited.

cerita 0 hari ni.

2010-05-10T12:55:00.002+08:00

cerita 1.

exam.... senang tapi susah. i mean, 35 marks for 1 question what u gonna write really? tak susah, cuma rasa saya tiada kes yang baik untuk support statement. sebab? semua ingat nama depan sahaja.. in the case of perbadanan kemajuan selangor...... in thomas's case.... thomas mana cik kak? kalau mmg kes yg ada facts hafal alhamdulillah. tp kalau yg stakat laid down principle just ingat nama depan.. haru lah. huh. soalan last, undue influence ke rescission ke i dunno. ok. god know. pasti! then soalan rectification, apa kata kau salin balik specific relief act tu. kan senang? cis. soalan senang... tapi susah. dan skarang saya tak pasti.

tapi cerita 1 tak cukup buat saya down. yeah! saya sebenarnya sungguh gembira sebab one paper down and left 3 to go. then saya boleh bermalas-malasan di rumah ayahda dan bonda bermula hujung minggu ini. =)

cerita 2.

keluar exam hall. suasana sesak. nampak kawan di penjuru. tegur dia sebab lama tak berjumpa sejak exam week.

"camne exam? okay?"sambil senyum2 mesra.
"ntah. tngok lah result nanti."

saya rasa saya salah pick question la. sentap ada jugak rasa skit2. tapi tak pe. farehah, kau kena sedar diri okay? and lagi pon dia kan baru habis exam. =)

down sket sbb sentap. =P

cerita 3.

bergegas ke bilik Mr. J. nak kasi mid term paper. so dia bleh key in marks. tunggu depan bilik dia half an hour, dia tak muncul2 tiba. ternampak academic advisor. teringat kan status subject registration. so, g jumpa dia dulu. mungkin dia tngah period pain or dia tngah lapar gila, dia sound saya sebab datang time exam week. saya tau saya patut datang sebelum exam. tapi puan tak perlu sound begitu. HAHAHA! favorite lecture kau sound kau farehah. HAHAHA! sentap beb!tiba2 hari ni aku merasakan kata2 teman2 tentang dia betul. huh! rasa cam nak tarik sume pujian aku bagi kat dia dulu. cis! kalau kau tarik pon dia tak dak rugi!! cis!

"improve your GPA okay! make sure you improve! i hope next time you don't have to come and see me again."

there... tiba2 aku down. cis! macam mana aku nak improve cgpa kalau aku doubt ngan paper land aku sem ni. haishh.. down beb!

balik tak pasal2 menitis air mata. apasal kau lemah sangat eh farehah?! asek nak berair ja mata kau! cuba keras sket. hehe.

mau tidur.

and he ask me...

2010-05-06T20:24:00.002+08:00

"why u need to post your picture on the blog?"

"hmm... simply."

"okay."

"why? is that a problem?"

"no."

"then why you asked?"

"if you feel okay doing it.. i'm okay."

"oh. btw i've deleted all my picture in facebook account. all the album except for those tagged by my friends."

"good." and he walked a way.

humph.. so?

exit A or exit B?

2010-05-06T13:49:00.004+08:00

im still young. yes i am. i am 23 or not yet. okay the point is i am young. is it? no. my point is, i may not know what is real life about. i may not know how hard life could be. i may not know what and where the future would take me. i may not know anything about life. because if i say what i'm going through now is hard, there will be at least one 'wiser' aka elder will tell me, that it is nothing. nothing compared to to their hardship. yeah rite. then i can say to any primary kid that their hardship is nothing compared to mine. you get what i mean? every people in different phase of their life have their own struggle. so, can you stop generalize what life is to any people? because if you are not listening to her you will never understand what she is saying.
now, it is hard for me. but i know that another 10 years i will laugh thinking about it.

i miss home.

it is final you know.

2010-05-05T18:54:00.006+08:00

i just finished my company paper. i'm so relax before the exam. my heart at peace when i entered the exam hall. i thanked god that He give me the strength and a peace heart.

the exam started. i flipped the exam question and bismillah deep in my heart, i can do it.

then, times up. i looked around. to see the faces surrounded me. yeah.. yeah.. yeah... you know what? the paper was soooooooo hard. i believed i did the best that i could. i studied, i revised and i understood but hmmm.. let just see the result. i hope i pass this time. i really hope so.

ya Allah help me please. amin.

cerita gagal gua 3

2010-05-03T18:37:00.003+08:00

cerita kat matrik adalah begini.

habis spm aku nak sambung pre-law. abah pulak minta ak buat sains. tinggi cita2 abah. dia nak aku jadi doktor macam yang aku selalu tulis dalam biodata time sekolah rendah. so dia minta aku sambung belajar kat matrik. and kebetulan aku pon ditawarkan untuk sambung matrik sains kat gopeng. aku lak cam tak pasti. diskusi dengan family berhari-hari. time tu aku rasa kenapa la tak da uitm or uia or um offer aku pre-law? dalam dilema samada aku perlu tunggu ke tidak, aku dapat offer dari mmu. hah! mmu, sapa2 apply pon dia accept. dah dapat offer aku letak tepi dulu form. then lepas seminggu, kakak dari mmu itu call. "adik, terima ke tak offer ni?" and aku jawab. " tak lah kak. saya apply foundation in law kot. apsal lak offer foundation in management?" oh.. saya tak cerita eh mmu offer saya foundation in management? okay now anda tahu. so she goes with long explanation about approval from LAN board lah and stuff. so aku cerita la ngan abah and mak. kalau aku nak buat degree law aku kna masuk under tiket foundation in management. sebabnya mmu tengah usahakan untuk dapat appproval untuk establish foundation in law and law school. mak aku okay ja kalo ak nak masuk mmu. darah daging dia kan dengan TM, so keyakinan dia dengan TM sgt tinggi la. but not my dad. and at the same time kawan2 aku dari sains perlis is about 47 yg dpt same place kat matrik. excited pulak. so aku fikir that time maybe i should listen to my dad. selepas timbang tara status law school kat mmu and peratus kemungkinan ak ditawar kan pre-law, aku pon mengiyakan kepada abah. so.. dengan senang hati abah menghantar aku kat gopeng.

dalam kepala hotak aku tak da pulak niat nak belajar rajin2 so that aku boleh continue buat medic. yang aku pikir.. abeslah.. aku kena belajar subjek sains lagik. aku kena belajar math lagik. kalau ikut SPM result aku yang sangat bijak, fizik and add math ak adalah C5. chem and bio adalah B3. and other 5 tuh A1. including sejarah kay. kan aku cakap aku sangat suka sejarah. hahah... C5 untuk add math tuh aku rasa nasib ak yang baik lah. sbb ak mula buat latihan add math tak henti 1 month before paper. tu pon ak try skor paper 1 ngan paper 2 yg lukis2 graph mak nenek tuh. ahhhh. ak benci arh sembang sal math!!!

and aku dekat gopeng sangat excited dengan kelas biology sbb blajar benda2 yg best. oh i like bio. siap cita2 time tu nak jadi cikgu bio. hehehe.. and klas chemistry jugak sgt menggembirakan. dgn cekgu mat nor yg sungguh best dalam pengajaran dekat kuliah. tapi kelas math? boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! again. cam kat skolah aku kena detention kelas setiap petang and weekend, dekat matrik pon aku kena jugak. such a loser! hahaha. tp ak tak penah regret! sebab matrik is the best time in my life. kawan2 yang sangat best! roommate yang sgt cool! ohh damn! i miss you pei chen. she's is coolest chinese roommate ever.dia sgt cool! we share friends, we share foods, we share stories. we blend well.uh, lama tak baca magazine fashion china and japan. =P

oh matriks sgt best! best! best!

so, after one year kat matrics aku transferred to mmu. hmph. here i am. LLB(Hons) MMU. hehehe. syok kan kalo dah grad nnt bleh tulis camtuh lepas nama. =P

and after 1 year doing well in foundation and 2 years doing great in law school, i fail my company law paper. fail the final, fail the supplementary and now repeating the paper.

orang kata sejarah tak mungkin berulang. ya betul. memang sejarah tak berulang. dulu mathematic but now, company law.

yes. wish me luck for tomorrow paper!

cerita gagal gua 2.

2010-05-03T18:08:00.005+08:00

okay kembali kepada cerita gagal gua.

aku pernah fail paper physic time sekolah dulu. then, abah kena pegi menghadap cekgu fizik aku. hahaha. malu? memang. cekgu tu pulak yang in charge basketball team aku. so panjang la crita dia dengan abah.

next!

aku pernah fail add math time sekolah. okay bukan pernah tapi selalu. so, mungkin ak patut tukar ayat. aku pernah lulus add math dulu time sekolah dulu. dua kali ya. 1st, ketika exam awal semester tingkatan 4 dan 2nd time tu spm lah. yerp! terima kasih. aku sangat pandai. tak perlu mention.

sebut pasal tingkatan 4, aku adalah student paling corot dalam kelas baiduri. baiduri adalah kelas pertama dalam aliran sains tulen. sekolah aku cuma ada 6 kelas tingkatan 4 dan 5. 3 kelas sains tulen aka biologi,dan 3 kelas sains teknikal. tapi yang pasti, kelas pertama adalah kelas dewa2 add math. sumpah tak tipu. yang terpandai yang terpaling geliga semuanya dalam kelas baiduri ya. seorang makhluk ni cuma perlu membaca buku text saja untuk skor 90 markah dalam paper add math. baca ja kay. and aku adalah accidentally sent to baiduri bcus of my 8A's in PMR. bila naik tingkatan 5 aku lompat sikit pergi kelas ketiga. mungkin tak perlu aku mention kelas last. haha... tp, nama pon ada 3 kelas je kan? kan? hehe.. mungkin aku cuba menjustify status aku... hmm. tp margin 1st class and 3rd class adalah sangat besar kot. dan aku adalah seorang yang sgt merendah diri dengan status aku pada waktu itu. kalau anda adalah dari batch 2000-2004 di sains syed putra anda mungkin faham apa yang saya cuba sampaikan.

tp bukan salah sapa2 pon ak fail add math. aku sendiri tak minat. dah tak minat tak pernah usaha nak buat. dah tak pernah buat mana nak reti. okay, ak pernah tido dalam kelas add math. konon nak cover, tido ak menghadap tingkap. ngeh ngeh ngeh. abes kelas, hafizul tegor aku. "wei, hang tak malu tido dalam kelas? hang tu perempuan kot." seriously nada dia sumpah marah. and kalau aku putih sikit memang akan nampak muka aku merah. and kalo tudung aku bukan kalis api sure dah terbakar. (seronok pulak tulis dlm bahasa ibunda) oh hafizul, kau sekarang kat korea kan. sronok kan? untung blajar rajin2 time skolah. spm bagus oversea lah tertiary education kau.

dekat matriks pulak, ak fail math. math lagik. benci kan cerita aku? hahaha. final exam aku fail math. aku skor B untuk chemistry ngan biology tapi gagal math. so option adalah repeat or quit. obviously aku quit.

ada sambungan nanti cerita gagal gua 3.

upside down.

2010-05-03T16:11:00.005+08:00

kan best kalo ak boleh buat saja tanpa fikirkan apa yang akan jadi kemudian? best kan? bestnya kalo ak boleh hanya fokus on the moment. gembira kan? gembiranya.

oh.. aku sangat rindu kan mak ngan abah. semalam aku text abah, "abah buat apa? angah sayang abah." serious rasa awkward bila baca balik. hahaha. then abah call. dia tanya, "kenapa text? nak apa?" see, dia pun pelik kan. then as usual 2 minutes on phone dengan dad. then aku text mak jugak. same text but mak tak reply. :) either dia busy or phone off.

cerita gagal gua.

2010-05-02T03:25:00.007+08:00

have you ever fail in study? i have. quite few time.

sekolah rendah ak pandai. selected di antara pelajar contoh. serious tak perlu bangga. cuma sekolah rendah. blajar tambah bahagi darab, present past and future tense. itu ja. so, tak ada apa nak di banggakan.

then, ak selected untuk continue sekolah menengah dekat asrama penuh. ceh. sekolah sains pulak.. cam big achievement gila lah. tingkatan 1 cekgu math aku tak pernah masuk kelas. dia cuma masuk bila dia rasa nak masuk. and aku mula ketingggalan. sebabnya, aku tak reti buat latihan sendiri. dulu time sekolah rendah cekgu suapkan semua. cuma ak perlu kunyah ja. sekali masuk form 1, cekgu campak ja, aku kena kutip sendiri, pastu masak sendiri pastu hidang sendiri pastu makan sendiri. and kunyah lah sendiri. dah kutip tak kena, masak pon tak sedap la kan. dah masak tak sedap camne nak kunyah lumat. hahahaha. so end up ak lah loser math dalam klas. tp tak lah sampai fail.

tingkatan 3, postmoterm nama aku selalu selected dalam nama student lemah. yes. i am. sebab aku selalu ada 2A ja bila exam penilaian. samada sejarah or geograpghy. or tak pun bahasa la kan. fuh. aku mmg minat sejarah and geography. geography...ohhh cekgu latipah. dah kawin ke kau? =)

berbalik kepada cerita postmoterm. pengetua, cekgu azmi pernah cakap aku dikalangan racun2 lain adalah racun kepada batch kitorang. sebab pencapaian aku yang macam tu akan menjatuhkan peratus 8A pmr 2002 sains syed putra. yezzaaa... that time dia point jari dia exactly dekat muka aku kay. ya.. kami budak2 lemah ini di minta berdiri di tepi dinding semasa ucapan pengetua itu. dan student2 lain adalah duduk di kerusi merah. aku malu. ya. sangat malu. kenapa malu sangat? kalau aku rajin nanti ak cerita lain masa. then apa jadi, aku tak ingat lah. yang aku ingat PMR aku 8A ja. sama ja macam penawar2 yang lain. oh. mungkin pengetua itu telah berjaya 'neutralize'kan racun itu kepada penawar. hahaha.

nanti sambung. lepas asaq.

i need a day off from library.

2010-05-01T23:00:00.011+08:00

it was friday morning when she text-ed me to go for lunch. as usual, we have to discuss over 10 text msg which place to go for and yet never arrive to a conclusion. as i really need to go to town, we decided to have our lunch there. and i feel like trying a new place and so she brought me for a japanese lunch buffet. i have to say it was awesome!

then, we went for a little walk after lunch. an unplanned dress hunting! no dress was bought but we went home with new hijab. one for her and two for me.

what a great day!

untuk kau ainul, thanks for the company and layankan aku mem'batak'kan diri dekat shibaruku. and please jgn nyesal untuk keluar dengan aku lagi. mwah!

hope.

2010-04-25T16:18:00.004+08:00

somebody advice me not to be so excited and put so much hope on the 'thing'.

the day that we (feel like) are celebrities.

2010-04-22T00:58:00.012+08:00

i'm not really in the mood these few days and today bibs managed to make me laugh and smile. after my class, he took me out for a movie. it is unplanned outing and we don't have any movie planned in our mind. we quite stuck at the counter not knowing what to watch as the only movie available at that period of time is a chinese movie. he really want us to watch a movie, so we bought the tickets for that movie. i can't remember the title.

i noticed that all the eyes were nailed at us once we entered the room until we reached our seats in the middle. i think we look strange for them. all of them chinese except for both of us. oh come on.. it's malaysia. multi racial, multi cultural, multi lingual, multi religion. how come you didn't expect a company other than your kind?

i said to bibz, ''wow! i everybody is looking at us." he laughed and replied, "i think they don't know that the movie has malay and english subtitles."

it is 2 hours movie but it was nice and we had fun watching those drama in between the actions. chinese movie is sooo dramatic weeii..

do you complaint too much?

2010-04-20T21:14:00.008+08:00

or not enough?

i always complaint that i can't study at home as so many things will distract me from the books, i.e; the food in the fridge, my notebook, the comfy bed, tv, etc. and yet when i'm in library i complaint that the library is noisy.

how about these kids?

the water supply to my unit apartment lately is rusty. it will leave brown rusty stain on the white clothes after thrown in the washing machine. it annoys me that every time i wash do the laundry i need to do it twice. and i believes that the water make my skin itchy. it makes me complaint so much about that.

but how about them?

and almost every day i complaint that the weather is hot and it makes my room also hot. the heat disturbed me so much that i will wake up every morning sweating and spending my days complaining of how it killing me.

and what about him?

now, quit complaining far3hah! live your life without complaint. say alhamdulilllah.

[pic source]

my conflict resolution that never work.

2010-04-20T07:08:00.006+08:00

when i'm mad or emotionally disturb i'll sleep. last night and the night before i slept very early. it was maybe at 10 something when i switched off the light and forced my eyes to sleep. it's all because i'm so mad and i can't resist the tears. i know i'm dead wrong, thinking that i will wake up feeling good, when i go to bed with anger. i know it is unhealthy way dealing with a problem. but i still do it all the time.

like today i wake up at 5 am. i thought i can refresh, pray, and study. but hell i'm wrong. instead of getting my ass of the bed, i stay in bed staring blankly at the ceiling for more than 30 minutes. then i decide to do the laundry. waiting for the laundry, i go back to my desk, drink the nescafe, azan... pray.. sit back at the desk... and still i don't feel right. my mind stuck up on the last night issue.

i know that i need to let go the anger before i sleep. so that i'll wake up next day smiling, feeling healthy and motivated. but the question is how to let go? by expressing what i feel to the other person in non threatening language that his/her act affected me? it is true that discussion is important. but how if you know that a discussion will never work or nobody there to discuss with? so, the matter is better left unspoken right? i always believe that something, sometimes is better left unspoken. and i know very well that when it left unspoken it will just bottle up my stress. sometimes it makes me feel better but sometimes it does not. now, it doesn't .

a note to a friend.

2010-04-19T20:55:00.008+08:00

dear friend,

congratulations!!! now, you are and you have what you wish for a long time. i'm very excited and happy for you. i know how secretive you can be, just like your roommate. so it will take me quite a long time to hear the story from you right? it doesn't matter. until then i'll keep myself all the time excited for it. hehe. i wish you, all the best and the great happiness along the journey. okay! love ya!

your friend.

shhhh!!!

2010-04-17T13:23:00.008+08:00

i like to stay back in library. there i can do my revision/study for long hours without noticing that the clock is ticking. i like the quiet environment as it all i need for concentration.

But it almost never happen here in my university library. it seems designated to be loud. the staff most of the time shushed the students and sometimes, they are as loud as the students. no kidding. the main library has 3 storey, with the ground floor (i supposed as what i've seen in other university) designated as the "social zone" the top floor as "talk and you die" and the floors in between as acceptable for quiet, whispered conversations. apparently, all the three level have the same level of noise though the security guard is standing in every floor while the librarian counter and the staff office is in the first floor. they won't do much. i seriously can't tolerate the 1st and 2nd floor. it is very noisy as most of the time i found it noisier than starbucks or McD in town. the cellphone-yakkers, loud talkers, and unfortunates whose heads are so empty that earphones turn into Bose-quality amplifiers. it's incredibly annoying. seriously why they acting like such a kid? international or local students both are the same.

and don't get me start with the law library. it is only single storey library, small but load with ''oh-i'm-so-smart-student-who-study-law-so-i-can-talk-and-run-as-i-like-in-my-library." i've been in one of the public university main library and law library. the main library is fairly quiet and the law library is however was a scary quiet. and i got "looks of death" by merely opening my bag zipper. during my 1st year in law school the law library was hell fine and quite. but now.. sigh.

and currently i am in the main library, ground floor after shifting from 1st floor. i can't get what i'm reading when i'm distracted by a group of chinese discussing and fighting about their assignment in the corner and another group of chinese next to my table keep talking from the 1st time they sat there until the moment i stood up to shift and the 2 persian guy in front of my table who come to the library only to chat over something on the laptop.

i think the libraries nowadays are becoming community centers with some bookshelves. there is actually no place in society that has to be quiet, except libraries. if our library is not quiet in the blue zones, do i really have to go to public library in town to study? i mean come on, how are we supposed to even claim ourselves to be great university with "international standard" if our small three storey library can’t even be quiet?

sigh.

i want the black abaya and the colourful hijab.

2010-04-16T16:23:00.009+08:00

today, early in the morning i sent bibibz to campus. he have a trip that he need to attend for the attendance and coursework marks. while i do the turn in front of the main gate, we saw his friend and the wife (a young couple who recently married) crossing the road to the restaurant. they were holding hand and look so lovely together and i was like "awww.. how sweet." and i also envy her black abaya and green hijab. it is gorgeous okay!

while he is smiling and waving to him i heard him saying, "oh.. i thought he is coming alone. how i gonna talk to him. he is with his wife. i will be embarrassed."

i raised my eyebrow, "what? why? you not gonna talk to her. so why you have to be embarrassed?"

and he replied me. "you will never understand. you growing up talking and smiling to anybody."

me," seriously?!"

for them, it is so wrong to interrupted somebody with their wife. i remember all the time going out with him in the case where we bumped into his friends in the mall, nobody of them will come and greet him when i am beside. the most is salam and smile from distance. and same goes to him, he will never go to his friend who is eating with his wife in a restaurant to greet him unless if the wife is not there at the time or he first introduce her to him. and i noticed that they never look, what else smiling at their friends' woman be it, wife/sister who is with/without him though they already know her as he has introduced her to them before.

it was funny and weird for me. as i was brought up in Malay culture which is so much known with friendly attitude, it is something abnormal. at first i thought, ignoring the existence of your friend's company beside him (all because she is a woman) is rude. very rude for me. but he explained to me that it is their way of showing respect to their friend and his woman. he explained that in their culture a man who respect a woman will never talk/smile/look to her out of necessity.

it took me so long to adjust with his way. for him, i am too friendly as i can talk to anybody i like and i will smile to anybody i feel like smiling. he always worry with that. but, what i can say dear, it is different society here. i believed it was okay for me and my people with that though i start to feel comfort with your way respecting us, the woman.

one of my somali friend who lives in saudi told me that her mother always scold her bcus she smile easily at anybody. seriously this girl has very sweet smile. oh.. i miss her. i haven't met her since she transferred to kl.

and yes, the title is not related to the post.

i'm baking.

2010-04-15T00:23:00.008+08:00

tomorrow is a public holiday and it will continue with the weekend. back to back class with mr T make the three days feel so long. and this evening i came back home feeling relieve lying down in my cozy bed and try to forget the fact that final week is approaching and so many things that i need to read.

boring. the girls went back to kl and his cousin is in town visiting him. knowing that i'll spend the night alone i asked him to bring me to grocery shop. i bought a loaf of bread, one bottle of milk, some eggs, and custard flour. guess what i'm baking?

taddaaa! BREAD PUDDING!

nothing to be proud of. easy as 1. 2. 3. but still i loiike.

i made also caramel pudding before i baked this. it taste is very good. yummy. but it don't deserve a picture bcus it only have disaster looks. even it is the tenth time, i never get a firm caramel pudding. mad.

now is the time to sleep. =)

tick tock.. tick tock..

2010-04-14T10:49:00.004+08:00

final exam is less than a month. at least it sounds better than 2 weeks (no kidding).

oh my.. oh my God!

oh.. come on!

2010-03-23T10:14:00.005+08:00

i will puke every time i hear a girl give an another girl a compliment about her appearance, like "OMG!!!! YOU ARE SOOOO PRETTY OMG LOL LOL THIS IS YOUR NEW SHIRT?" and the other girl who get the compliment will say something like "OMG! WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I'M SOOOO FAT. LOL" when actually she have a very little tiny hip. i've seen some girls that i know who their weight is about 5o/55 kg and yet they say they looks like a whale? oh please.. this kind of people will be the last person on earth for me to hang out with. or, not at all. why? because, i can't spent the rest of the day looking at the meal in front of me and talking of how much calorie in it and worry of getting 10 kg extra as soon as i eat it. and i can't spend my days keep looking at ladies who walk passed me in skinny jeans and envy them for their skinny body. and i can't stand sitting and talking about who is the most beautiful and not and what she wear and what she don't and this and that. oh crap! that is not me. i'm not a freak. i've been with this kind of girls and the last time i go out with them was like 3 years ago.

seriously, there's a lot more to life than how fat or thin you are. or how ugly and beautiful you are. if you asked me, i'm rather have happy life with my plus size body line than being a slim and miserable.

you are not living in hollywood movies or in fashion magazine. you are living in reality. suck it up people.

great unexpected gifts.

2010-03-22T23:19:00.009+08:00

this is swiss arabic perfume which i received from msian expat last january. (thanks sis)
the bottle is so charming that i love it so much. it smell very good but absolutely not for my daily use. why? the smell is too strong that i will leave the persons who are 10 meters behind me smell it.

this is from my lovely sister and she gave it to me last month. i think it's for the good news that mother had approved her man. yeah, the wedding really make her so kind and generous.

and last week, ainul bought me this perfume. she said it is an advance gift for anything in future. (thanks dear!) btw, i never heard of it before but i don't mind. i really like the sweet smell. and yes, i read the label, "made in UAE". =)

dear all,
thanks for the gifts.
i really, really, really like it.

the only thing that is going to get me where i want to be is working as hard as i can.

2010-03-22T05:08:00.008+08:00

piles of old lecture notes under my bed disturbed me since the last time i rearranged the room a month ago. i noticed that they contribute a lot in accumulation of dust and invitation of spider web. except for that, they really do nothing and i have no idea why i still keep them safe there. i feel like throwing them away but my heart seems can't let them go. ( for sentimental value huh?!) so, today, instead of throwing them i decided to reuse/recycle them(yes, go green!) as printing papers for the case law and articles. and while i'm sorting them, i stumbled upon my old tutorial answers with discussion notes jotted down and my very own notes that i made for every subject after every lecture. they were very neat with different colour of pens and highlighters. also i found answers for the past year question that i did as self exercise.

i must be a very hardworking student during that time right?

homesick blues

2010-03-21T00:11:00.004+08:00

i'm all alone at home this weekend. and after maghrib today i feel very lonely. i called my mom and talk to her and my brother. hearing them make me cry. i miss home and the family. i just miss them so much.

life is good when you are cool.

2010-03-20T02:02:00.008+08:00

I may not like what you do. But I respect you anyway. Because who you are tomorrow might be better than who I am today.

it happened again.

2010-03-19T14:47:00.003+08:00

get up and move on! see you at the finish line.

i need ear-plugs.

2010-03-19T03:35:00.010+08:00

i am at my wits end with noisy neighbour.

i'm fucking pissed. there i said it. so, sue me. it's 3.30 in the morning and the retards arabs neighbour making so much noise. i can't understand how can they communicate with their other friends who lives 2 balcony away from their house. use your phone you asshole. your loud voice is really disturbing and it is freaking 3 am in the morning. i wish i can send these mentally retards arabs to other planet. oh wait, i'm not bias racist. there are also retards malays who playing drum during day and night living in the 2nd floor. you freaking live in a 5 storey apartment and yet you jamming your drum set day and night like you live isolated in your own world?

ugghh! what to do with this kind of people? it's not occasionally happen. it happen like almost everyday. i can tolerate loud music during the day but in the middle of night hearing people talking, laughing, shouting or drum set jamming is something unacceptable.

is ear-plugs a good option?

i hope i am an A class nerd student who never missed a class.

2010-03-18T16:58:00.003+08:00

i have 8 am class today. the 2 hour class ended at 10 and so i decided to stay back in the library doing some study until my next class at 4. so, 20 minutes to 4 i realize that i dun have the lecture outline for the next class and i need to print it out. since i was in the campus the only option is print it out from printing shop. and so, i went there hoping i'll get the outline and heading back to lecture room on time. apparently there is some small problem with the printer which delayed me a while. and when i was done with the outline, it was 5 minutes past 4 and i ran to the class. i arrived at the class, catch my breath, walk in and getting in my usual place in the 1st row. 5 steps in my leg freeze as i noticed the not so familiar faces stared at me blankly. damn it! i was in the wrong class. it's 1st year junior class and a second that my brain need to digest the fact that i was in the wrong class feels like 1 long hour. damn it! damn it! The "4 pm class" is actually a "2 pm class". see how i messed up the schedule. i must be losing my mind already. great!

think pink.

2010-03-14T18:31:00.010+08:00

i'm kinda like my new layout.

seriously i'm not into pink colour like my sister (she's all crazy about pink) but.... i think pink is cute and dominating isn't it? yea.. i have to admit it since i've slept in my pink bed for more than a year. *clear throat*

about my sister, she's getting married. her wedding will be on 6th of june this year. she had decided to go with pink themed colour for her wedding. and yes, that means beside her wedding dress and the reception, our family dress would also be in pink. uh.. i can't imagine my dad in a pink malay traditional suit. must be very cute isn't it? =)

and during the dinner today the topic came out and bibzo seems do not agree with it. "how come? how could a wedding be in pink. it is a wedding. it's not anything." dun worry bibz, i would love to go with white. =)

it is about myself.

2010-03-13T12:12:00.003+08:00

its not about being better than someone else or about what i've achieve or haven't achieve or knowing more about something than others or being elitist about stuff or bitching about someone that someone likes.

if they like me, they be with me. and i'm being myself, it is the only person i'm going to be.

bonus.

2010-03-09T01:11:00.003+08:00

what will be my parent response if i confront them that i should be married now? (at the age of 23 and haven't finish degree yet.) how they will react? hmm... wondering.

ooppss!

2010-03-06T14:37:00.004+08:00

i can understand wanting your legs to appear longer so you opt in to shorter dresses and shorts... but honestly seeing your butt cheeks hanging out is not the most attractive thing in the world.

please, it's not cute at all.

7 things about me.

2010-02-19T13:27:00.004+08:00

i was tagged by hijabchic to do this. but i took like three/ four days to post it. =) sorry sista.

so, i have to tell 7 things about myself.

7 things about me:

i loves movies. i often go to the cinema (at least once every week) for new movies. if not, i will watch those downloaded version in my laptop. at my parents home, HBO/cinemax/starmovies will be my favorite channel. normally i will fight for the tv remote with my brother.
i watch a lot of tv series (always on my computer). But never the tv bcus i hate waiting for the next episode to be on air. i'm supernatural fan and i’m quite upset hearing that season 5 would be the last season for the brothers. i dun have enough of them yet i think. i hope it is just a makeup news. hmm... “Friends”, i repeatedly watched over the years. so much so that i have actually memorised some of the dialogues! i like joey character sooo much. no matter what he always made me laugh. and also phoebe, her ability to be so forthcoming while maintaining her innocence made her hilarious.
i love reading. i loves books. but i'm cheap to buy my own collection. i only bought one that i'm very sure it worth my penny.
i don't find any picture of me celebrating my birthday when i'm kid and i cant remember of having birthday cards or gifts either. so i guess my first birthday celebration was my 18th birthday. it was a surprise party held by my friends. there was a choc cake, foods, gifts and games. it was so much of fun with them. btw, it's hard for me to remember people's birthday (other family's birthday). and seriously i'm not good at all in buying gift.
i play sudoku but only the virtual version. for me, sudoku on papers are sucks.
i used to study arabic communication in school and used to hate it very very very much. ironically, now my car cd player most of the time plays arabic song.
i have the habit of just being quiet all of sudden when something disturbed my mind. i know it makes people uncomfortable thinking that i'm not in the mood. but that's the way i am and i takes time for me to change this habit.

so, i tagged whoever wish to share their things with me. =D

on last minute.

2010-02-11T04:06:00.003+08:00

4 a.m. and i'm still awake for this bloody submission. if it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done. and nothing makes me more productive than the last minute. =)

what annoys me?

2010-01-31T02:59:00.010+08:00

excuse me. i feel like ranting now.

name-dropping! stop it people. i don't give a shit what brand freak are u.
combination of hijab and legging.
twilight.
slim freak. i eat when i feel and what i feel like eating... so what?
those who tell me that i look slimmer (thank you!) every time they see me when actually i am not.
people that keep saying "Fcuk" in every sentence they uttered. seriously, why u have to?
smokers. they pollute almost everything.
misbehaving children in restaurant.
zig-zagged taped line for queuing up which seems to go on forever. though it is empty i have to walk around the bloody maze to the counter.
i'm suck at bahasa malaysia. (while i was born in malaysia by my local parent and have spent all my life in malaysia)

i'm back!

2010-01-31T00:40:00.006+08:00

i'm back for blogging after a month. yay!

it's the second week of the new semester. alhamdulillah... things going well i must say. it's not as hard as i thought it would be. this new semester is upon me. it's the chance for me to better myself, academically and to further my growth in every aspect of life.

Let’s seize the semester, and make it the greatest one ever!

rethinking (relationship between different culture)

2010-01-03T20:57:00.004+08:00

i think expectations need to be changed. let say a man of 'X' origin marries a wife of 'Y' origin, he shouldn't expect her to be or act like a wife from 'X' origin, because she's not, so he shouldn't expect that, and shouldn't judge her for being different from those from 'X' origins. it doesn't mean that anyone is better or worse it's just that they're not the same. and it works vice versa.

talking my mind.

2010 new year resolution.

2009-12-31T19:55:00.003+08:00

that's it!
but how? how to be happy?
there, the list will go on.
=)

hmm...

2009-12-30T12:10:00.000+08:00

so many thoughts.. so little words .. its like my brain is in overdrive and i can’t make it stop.

yay me!

2009-12-28T01:13:00.005+08:00

it is my birthday today.

nothing special. really.

off the record

2009-12-24T07:30:00.006+08:00

i hate facebook.

i know. everybody is supposed to like facebook. facebook is the last website to hate rite? yea.. i agreed but not anymore. after i left friendster and the lamest hi5 and so to speak myspace, i joined facebook. for unknown reasons i thought facebook is clean social networking website ever. real people and real name. i know i sound like innocent 12 years old girl.

i set up my facebook account more a year ago. at first i was fascinating of the idea gathering as much friends that i know and to keep up with them. it seemed a neat idea to have a page where all my friends were together where i could send cutey gifts, flower and stuff. also reconnecting and updating with how there are doing on the walls.

it was great at first, a tool for getting in touch with old friends, until you become hooked and begin to despise it. it has become increasingly weird with all manner of people sending friend requests. some i do not know, others from my past who were never very friendly when they spoke to me in person! so now, what i loved about facebook is also what i'm starting to hate about it. 96% of my friends were never a real friends. why? the people who 'friended' me but never wrote on my wall or contacted me in any way (i did the same as well) is hardly to be admitted as real friend. so, it shall distinct the real friend and online friend which i may know offline. i don't need the later.

facebook became an open room for stalker (i may be guilty of it also). i hate the nonsensical updates from people i'm not close to anyhow. it waste my time of reading it and make me a stalker once i addicted to follow their updates (i know you are not me). and yes, i dislike the idea of yet another 3rd party mediating my relationships with others.

i've thinking of opt out of facebook entirely. i know a friend who have (even i dunno reasons behind). but i'm stuck there. i think i'm not ready yet. probably i'm not willing to have ease of virtual social connection wrested from my grip.

for now, let it be.

McD

2009-12-23T07:18:00.006+08:00

good morning world.

currently i'm in my hometown for 3 month internship program or legal attachment whatever it is called. so, it's mean 3 months away from fast food lane. =) ooh.. don't worry. here we have 2 kfc branch and 1 pizza hut house (with sucks service). it is enough isn't? =P

sigh...

i'm not a big fan of McD but i think a town (though a small town) without McD counter is just a failure. i just wondering how those college's student here chilling out and how the foreign students survive. now, i think that 45 minutes journey to the nearest town for chilling out on weekend is worth for them.

actually, i'm craving for McD breakfast set. i love the sausage muffin, the egg, the hash brown, and the pancakes. i love the set! and now i'm craving for it. cries. oh yeah... i want sundae strawberry too!!! damn it! 45 minutes for McD breakfast set on weekdays is impossible!

hey rich people, please open up new franchise here.

my loves towards black and white.

2009-12-23T00:40:00.006+08:00

oh yeah... today i went to court again accompanied the LA and this time it is the session court. Well it is my first time in session court. same thing, same procedure different judge. have i told u that i love courts? i admire those in black and white. they simply get me over excited. i simply love it! it's inspiring and motivating. i love the feeling being there in the court room! awwww!

but, at the same time i always have sad feeling towards the person who have to appear before court. doesn't matter whether they are plaintiff or defendant, accused person, they sometimes really touch my heart. well again advise from the boss, don't involve emotions in business!

and tomorrow i will accompanied LA to public auction. =)

i think it's about one week more left for me till my last day at the firm... seems like i don't want to leave. =(

i hope i can watch proceeding in syariah court before i'm leaving. I have been doing lots of documentation for syarie cases during 3 month at the firm but i've never go to the court yet. perhaps i can watch one soon.

btw, do u know that law does not only look at the black and white? sometimes it look into gray area and there, it discover the darker gray which is black or the brighter gray which is white.

habit, not motivation!

2009-12-22T20:49:00.006+08:00

i'm asking myself how to be motivated.

i have an exam next monday (okay! re-sit examination!) and i was doing revision before i came here question myself on my lately achievement. my grade drop dead last two semester. from my first day of degree i dream to graduate with 1st class honours degree (damn good dream). for 5 semester i can say i'm doing it well with average cgpa is 3.5/3.4 until last 2 semester where everything didn't go the way i want it to be. it was awful. my cgpa dropped terribly. i was scared as hell when i realized that my current cgpa is exactly 3.00. i afraid i could not do it till i graduate (my dream of 1st class honours degree seems to fade away). i have 4 semester left to go and i must do something with it or else i will not see even a digit 3 in front.

i keep asking myself, what i've done during previous semester? where all my motivation gone and why?

motivation? nope... i blame myself for it. it is habit. habit, not motivation! i've changed a lot. i have to admit. with a snap of fingers, things happened and i got distracted and all blown.

for 5 semester i make it a habit to study and i treat studying as my job and campus as office. Get up, shower, breakfast, class, lunch library, went home dinner.. exhausted sleep. and it will start over again the next day for 5 days a week. it's pretty boring life but hey, i was enjoying it. at the end of semester it pay off. i get what i want.

damn it! i've changed a lot! now i need to move and work my ass off.

oh... btw, i now know and fully aware that 1st class honours degree doesn't guarantee me the best place out there. it just merely a bonus. what really matter is the experience and the lesson that i pick along the journey. the experience and lesson that will build my character and shape my attitude. and the attitude that will guide me to my dreamland. =)

monday smile.

2009-12-21T10:06:00.003+08:00

the weekend is over and it is the time to get back to work. the things i can't stand to see all week and avoid all weekend are in my face. i can't sleep in anymore. now, the grind towards friday start again

start the countdown.. Four more days to wait until that afternoon.

oooh.. damn it. i have exam on monday. next monday! arghh. can press the stop button and rewind?

days...

2009-12-17T07:05:00.005+08:00

before yesterday, the day was not good at all. senior staff who is in charge on my internship was on emergency leave for a week. i have to continue doing her work on my own and i don't feel really functioning without instructions. phone interview with internal supervisor was quite okay. external supervisor? hurmm... it was the most embarrassing moment when he corrected mistakes (including my grammar) on my monthly report. all i need was his signature but he went through reading it and gotcha... "this is not this.. this is not that.. this is like this....." sigh.

everything was good yesterday. i managed to finish the pending work on my own. i'm adjusting well. and yes! yesterday i received compliment from a senior staff on on my work attitude. it make my day. =) i hope it's a reflection of all what i've done for last 2 months.

today i will accompany the lawyer to the court. i love court. i like to to watch the proceedings. i loves to see those in black and white. it simply motivate me. it's inspiring! :)

oh it's best if i will know what will happen the next day.

i am toddler still.

2009-12-15T08:06:00.007+08:00

as toddlers we learn to walk by falling and getting up again, and again... step by step and everybody sheers for us! i really don't understand why it is taken away later in life as a privileged.

do you see what i see?

2009-12-14T21:54:00.012+08:00

a smell of female exploitation, discrimination and sexism.

no? really?!

then what is that?

it's the best not to put people in categories.

2009-12-13T10:20:00.003+08:00

edward? edward cullen?

2009-12-13T03:19:00.011+08:00

it's a laughable celibacy...

Yay for curly hair!

2009-12-12T17:17:00.009+08:00

. . . . . . . embracing curly hair ;)

i remember seeing my hair in a picture when i was about 4. it was shoulder length and curly. my sister on the other hand has long straight hair with a bang. so while i look cute, she look even prettier and adorable (yeah.. through out the years, i always envy her straight hair). i barely realized that i have curly hair till i was in boarding school and decided to keep my hair long. because from i was 5 until 14, my mom always make sure that my hair was kept short. reasons? probably she think it will be hard for me as a kid to manage the curls. sigh.

staying away from her give me a freedom to grow my hair. as it grow longer, it grow bigger. i never really hated it at first, but i started to see those shampoo commercials on tv (urghh.. advert always lie) and wish my hair was silky and shiny like that. sometimes i got tease about it among my siblings as all of them have straight hair. though nothing major but joking, it developed strong desire for straight hair. for me, my hair was indecisively curly bcus it never quite did what i wanted it to. so, at 16 i got it chemically straighten and then redo it every half year for about 5 year. and the miracle of flattening iron was bestowed upon me. till last year i was miserable with my hair as it became very dry and brittle. at times it was extremely oily. i think it most probably cause by the chemicals and the flattening iron. and yes... i didn't use the proper hair care products either. so i cut my hair and decided to refrain from any straightening chemicals and flattening iron as i grow it again. i feel i had enough with those thing.

after a year my hair has grown longer and wavier and i now feel really good. i want to make peace with the curls, love it and live with it. i have to admit, i started loving it recently. i wouldn’t change it for straight hair like i once did. i learned a valuable secret. curly hair is not ungrateful (even if it might appear like it is) if you take good care of it and treat it well.

oh.. btw its weird that i think curly hair only look ugly on me but not others. in fact i like man with curly hair and wish my kids will inherit curly hair from me or hub (if i married one). =) sopha, a friend of mine have extremely sexy curly hair. she said it is a pain only if you don’t treat it right, but it can be great if you know how to handle it (oh yeaah... brushing my curly hair will only make it freezy). learn it!!

all i can say i am truly happy with my hair (not when it tangle) and am not going to straighten my hair any time soon.

dry lips battle end!

2009-12-12T15:28:00.007+08:00

vaseline is the best remedy for chapped-dry lips.

it is cheap, simple, shiny and moisturizes best. for 2 nights i save it on my lips before bed and the result is awesome. It does a great job hydrating my lips while i'm sleeping and the next morning, i wake up with super soft lips.

chapped lips gone! yay!

how can i get over it?

2009-12-11T13:32:00.009+08:00

i forget stuff and lost things easily. last time i lost my purse and it was returned back empty. i always forget where i put my phone. there was a time i left it in the lecture hall and went to the next lecture in other building. lucky me that it never get stolen. i lost my key few times and locked outside hundreds of time. i'm tired of going through lost and found again and again. so, i decided to bring same bag everywhere with everything in. bcus, often changing bags, cause me losing track of my stuff. at least one bag help me to escape from a treasure hunting later.

i make a lot of small little mistakes at work. it is okay for me if it happen for the first time doing new thing. repetitively doing mistakes on spelling, punctuation and drafted format is something unacceptable. it just plain simple thing and why i can't do it perfectly? i can't even prepare a clean document without errors. damn! i feel stupid every time they return my paper with lots of correction. huh. i know, mistake is a process of learning. but seems like i never learn. one thing... normally i did a mistake when i'm nervous. by the time i try to impress my supervisor, there u can catch me.

i am clumsy.... too bad. when i'm nervous i'm clumsy. or when i'm in hurry everything will goes wrong. i try not to be but i have no idea how to get over it. and someone at work advise me that bismillah is one of the best idea.

Ooops! It was the stupid chair.

2009-12-10T23:09:00.003+08:00

i'm not an obese and will die of health problem and nor am i skinny. i'm something in between. fat? yeah maybe but not to the extend that i will break a chair with my weight. but believe me not, i just did it. i was outside with my family having dinner when it took place. i was adjusting my sitting position and suddenly the chair cracked. OMG! it was embarrassing enough. i noticed that peoples sitting next to our table start giving me oh-poor-lady smile. and my brother.. yes i swear him to stop laughing. of course i put the blame on the chair. oh wait... it should be the restaurant for allowing old spoiled chairs to serve the customers. wth.

and my mom suggested that i should follow her for jogging tomorrow. damn! it was not me mother... it was the stupid chair!!!

an intern, what it takes...

2009-12-10T09:14:00.011+08:00

i woke up early in the morning feeling like i'm wearing on jolie's big-full-pouty lips but mine is flacky and chapped and hell not sexy. on the way to work, i look at the rear-mirror and realize that my lips is bleeding. ouchh and with spicy kuetiow goreng for breakfast, it doesn't make me feel good at all.

now i'm in office left with the mess that supposed to be others' works which settled years ago. yes, before i even exist in this 'world' and bcus i am an intern here, now it became my work. from past 3 days, i have been playing with loads of dusty old files. searching and arranging them according to the reference number requires me to be friendly with rat shits and crawling bugs. digging, climbing, crawling (hope not that exaggerating) is the next skills i learn. OMG! to sort out the outstanding bills for those files one by one using excel force me to apply my rusty skill. damn! if u have no idea how exactly my situation now don't dare advice me to chill.

The reasons of internship.. is for u to pick up skills and experience. yes mother. currently, i'm doing mine.

honey ya bibz

2009-12-08T09:13:00.020+08:00

Outside weather is hot, so i prefer to stay indoor in cold air-condition. Here come another problem. Cold weather and dry air makes my skin dry. Now i have red flakey dry skin on my face and it makes me keep looking back at the mirror every two minutes. And as usual dry skin will lead to chapped, dry and cracked lips. The whole situation make me feel like wearing a plastic face. and oh yeah... it quite bothersome and not to mention painful.. and yes.. itchy too.

I told bibz bout it and he suggest me honey. According to him honey has awesomely a lot of health benefit. It can cure acne, sore throat, coughing, stomach ache and even bad breath. Yes, he suggest it for iron-burn-scar on my wrist too. At first i thought it is all about 'arab things' bcus what he told me is what his mom taught him and as far i'm concern, Arab loves honey. I know that my dad drink tea with honey everyday for his healthy diet but honestly i can't relate it with the idea that honey can cure those thing he said. And burn scars is too much. I don't know about others but it's hard for me to believe the natural cure. Drugs win me if i'm sick for sure. I rather take painkiller for headache than a glass of warm water with lemon-lime. I dunno why. Probably bcus drugs is more convenient.

Now, i believe him. Not after i apply it on myself but after i read from several website (google is all what i need). oh wait.. i also read somewhere that the ancient Egyptians even used honey to preserve the corpses of cats in earthenware jars. And one 'brave' archeologist dipped his finger into a vat of 2500 year old honey in an Egyptian tomb discovered that it was still edible. Amazing isn't?

So now, should i apply dad's honey in the kitchen on my face before i go to bed?! hurm.. no. I don't want to mess my bed.

oh.. btw, I loike honey straws.. The best way for honey treat is the honey straws. It yummy and enjoyable.

I deleted my old blog.

2009-12-03T19:18:00.003+08:00

I deleted my old yahoo account and created new one. I've been thinking of doing it months ago and finally, i did it. Reasons? The account was with me since i was 15 and I'm no more that kid.

I have my new account now and I can say I'm so happy with it.

Unfortunately, I accidentally deleted my old blog with it. I'm really bummed about that. I like some of those entries.... sigh. To start over kind of sucks.

But, on the good side I have a reason to be grateful. I hate all my emo-psycho-kid entries that make me feel silly of posting it. yeah... make me feel like a retard with emo problems. So, having it deleted accidentally is a good thing. Thank god.

So, that's it. Here I go again. New born 'amfar3hah'.